‘Then Came Cancer … I was terrified.’
Life was about to get very difficult for Connie Dever. Her soul echoed her body’s turbulence. Everything felt so desperately out of control. ‘Fears seized me and sometimes evil felt palpably close. At times I couldn’t even open my Bible – only hold it. I was at the end of myself. -God, hold on to me! I can’t do anything-‘
And hold onto her, He did.” From “He Will Hold Me Fast: A journey with grace through cancer” by Connie Dever.
I’ve never had cancer. I never want to endure cancer but sadly, I know so many people who do. There are so many people I love who are fighting this terrible disease. I hate cancer.
Cancer changes things. It changes your body, your ambitions, you hope and reality. Cancer changes how you love and what you love, mostly for the better but so I understand it limits some of the things one loves and can no longer experience. A Northbridger with cancer recently said, “my disease woke me up to the reality that I was no longer in charge.” She was not giving up or giving in to cancer but realizing her mortality.
I’m hopeful. I think someday we will conquer cancer.
But will we conquer disease and decay? Will we conquer everything that makes us mortal. That, I am not so hopeful. Disease is a result of sin that has entered into the world. I hate cancer but I must ask, “do I hate the source of cancer?” Do I see my own sin as the rebellion and entaglement that brought great heartache into the world?
Connie Dever is right to fight cancer and point us to the one to who we must surrender, Jesus. He is the ultimate victor! He is the Savior. We must not fight but surrender because He is the only one that can forever hold us fast.